Accepting Oneself

We like to be seen important, witty, intelligent, smart etc,. If we are not naturally good at it we do things artificially to communicate such an impression. We do this as a way of protecting our self image or to create a sense of belonging. We build images of ourselves that makes us feel good. This is the facade that we want the world to see and associate us with. This is a projection which is not our true self. The more we wrap a cocoon out of fear and insecurity the more we fail to be oneself.

Be yourself. Stop the performance so you get accepted. There will always be people who would admire you for who you are. Let your interaction with this world be natural.

If you don't accept yourself as you are who else would. Drop the mask and be free.

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Ego is not a villain

Ego is vilified as an impediment in the spiritual path. We like to destroy this evil force. We like to do the opposite of whatever we consider as an egoistic act. We try to be humble. We try to love.

The desire to destroy the ego belongs to the ego. It is ego's plan to destroy itself to obtain something else, say the blessings of God or peace of mind or for some other it could be enlightenment.

There are two flaws in this approach. One the physical body can be killed by a physical act but for the ego to kill itself it has no idea how to do it. It can't say or think from now on I am dead and remain dead. Two if it does the impossible who would be the beneficiary of the fantasized goodies once it is dead?

You are the ego. Ego is not a villain. It is the ignorance that one has to remove to be aware each moment. When the ego is aware of its actions tranquility sets in.

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Self Pity

As a child we all have cried for many reasons. We have cried in pain, hunger, fear and just about for many reasons. As kids we have learnt that crying gets attention, love and sympathy. These emotions comfort us and relieve nerves of insecurity.

As adults not much of our core changes. This active need for attention and validation continues. Not every time the world is going to stand next to you with a handkerchief in hand. One easy way to get attention and sympathy is from one's own.

Self pity paints us a saint in our eyes and wonder why the world is so devilish to us. We wonder why the world refuses to understand or reciprocate your goodness. The pain is ironically alluring.

For some the addiction of self pity is so strong that they refuse to let go. They attract more downfalls and sadness to crib about. If desire to be happy is no wishful thinking stop self pity.

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Belief to Knowing to Realization

If you are a believer in divinity let that belief turn to knowing and then to realization. You don't believe you have a hand? you know you have it. right? Belief is needed only when there is a doubt. Without direct realizing the divinity it remains elusive and unknown - a blind baseless belief that was passed down by the society we live in.

To know God the first step is stop fearing him. Don't look at divinity as consumed with trigger happy tempers. It is not another human entity who would react like humans and judge our ignorant behaviors.

If we know it all we wouldn't be ignorant. Divinity can't judge any such act done out of ignorance and helplessness. When you fear

God you are belittling his compassionate nature. You demonize him.

If you want to connect to God you have to question his existence. Suppressing this question out of fear is not expressing immense faith in God but you are masking your simmering doubts with a face of a devout. That's a lie which the compassionate divinity wants you to get out. It wants you to be true to yourself first so your reverence to it is genuine too.

When you start questioning you question all your beliefs, your ideas, your texts, your opinions - just about everything that has blocked you from knowing the truth. You genuinely seek not blindly accept what has been told or written. It might shatter all the existing beliefs in the process but it doesn't stop the quest to taste divinity.

The connect between you and divinity already exists. Let not another human or book or ritual stop you from realizing the divinity. When you realize the divinity, your life is one of awareness, bliss and compassion. You are complete for the first time.

Negative Emotions

All the so called negative emotions like jealousy, anger, hatred, envy, sadistic pleasures and many other stem from insecurity. Insecurities are fears that has arisen out of the idea me vs rest of the world. A sense of separateness from the rest of the world. It is the idea of the ego. It is out of ignorance the human mind imagines so.

In order to survive one either fights or compromises. We pick fights with strangers and put up with bosses. If rubbed on the wrong side we show our displeasure to people who are meek and swallow pride if they are hulks and psychos.

So long the ignorance of Oneness exists the illusions of separation would exist. The drama would continue until one goes beyond the veils of Illusion or Maya. In Oneness you don't see the world as a threat to your existence. In Oneness there could be no ill feelings towards others. You would be a fountain of compassion. People would love to associate with you.

Dealing with Negative thoughts

Negative thoughts can be damning. One negative thought leads to another and by the time you realize a castle of doom is built. The dreamer fuses life into it and carries this monster 24x7. Peace of mind is forsaken but plans of how to beat the imagined demon occupies the mind. Thoughts of shame, of danger lurking, of failures and many similar thoughts make life hell. 

The world out there seem to be so happy except you. It looks like it is mocking at your miseries. It appears that you have been hand picked for persecution. You have a tiny tinge of hope somewhere deep inside secretly wishing that your worries evaporate. Self pity and self deprecation becomes your favorite hobby.

Thoughts per se are neither negative nor positive. It is simply a manifestation that has occurred in your mind. Thoughts that are not to your liking are labeled as negative and those that make you feel good are seen as positive thoughts. What is positive thought to you could be a negative thought to someone else. You are a body of desires. Each desire seeks its fulfillment. You comprehend these emotions through thoughts. One part of you wants fulfillment of those desires and another part of it - your values, your constraints etc - stops it from happening. You are not sure what needs to be done to feel content. It seem to be never ending tussle.

Dropping desire is not possible because you didn't create the desire. It just happened to you. Suppressing desire is not going to be effective in the long run. It makes you desperate and vulnerable to irreversible mistakes. Working to fulfill won't end it either. You would want more of it - like more money, more recognition. So how do one be immune to negative thoughts?

A temporary solution is to wait for the change in tide that brings momentary uplifting thoughts. You can also attempt to force exciting thoughts that seem to bring results in the short term but know it would wear you out mentally in the long run. That's how positive thinking works. It is like an emergency medication not for daily usage. 

Filling your mind with happy events of the past and promising future would temporarily disengage from the rut. You might probably be doing the opposite of what you are doing now. You might have to step out to the world, do small things that uplifts, meet happier and sensible people. These can pave the way for permanent solution but be aware they are more like breathers. The problem is in the root. 

A permanent solution would be to understand yourself. Learn to look within to know why you desire certain things, why certain thoughts come to haunt you. The coming to know the reason behind them would point the right direction for the right set of actions. Work on the source than react to the situation on the surface. It takes commitment. If you are serious you would work for a permanent solution otherwise your want to be happy is only a wishful thinking.

The ugly side of Humility

Many like the idea of being humble. They take pride in their humility. They feel so good when someone compliments them as a humble person. They want more of it. These are the people who claim they have no ego. That's probably the biggest ego drive they have. To whom does that pride belong? To whom does that humility belong? Who in that person claims absence of ego? 

They know arrogance is no good. They don't want to be empty vessels that make more noise. So they reach to the other extreme of the scale, which is being humble. Although they are easy to move with and friendly these are the people who are fragile. They are the ones that get hurt easily. Anyone can ruffle their feelings. They treat others well and in turn expect the world to reciprocate. When that doesn't happen they are pained. They carry an expectation that humanity should appreciate their humility. It is a performance that needs recognition. In arrogance the ego is troubled and shaken. In humility the ego is caressed for later trouble.

Society and religion preaches you humility. It can be misleading. Instead of showing the balance, where an act is carried out independent of the prejudice, of arrogance and humility, it preaches one extreme over the other. It is because of this lop sided emphasis why we would find appeasement of wrong in the name of being good.

Humble people have dreams like any other. They don't flaunt their talents but secretly wish it is acknowledged. They want the limelight but expect to be prodded to take the stage. On the face it looks they are content with what they have but they are not. They don't realize that the very reason they try to be humble is to enhance their low self esteem. This humble behavior of theirs in the long run make them timid and shy. There is another set of people - celebrities, who are not shy of the limelight but would want to come across as humble. They like the tabloids to write about their humility in spite of their resounding success - another ego ride.

Both arrogance and humility are acts that stem from low self esteem. Humility can't be a cover up for arrogance. It is important that the reasons for ones low self esteem is addressed. Listen to your inner voice, your best friend, to know what action of yours would be a balanced act. A balanced act - free of arrogance and humility - could be a loud stern shout or a slap or a big grin or a simple glance or nothing. It is not the expression on the surface that matters but how complete one is within, from where that action sprung.