Quest for the Source

Long eons earlier far away from the habitation of living being, was a very serene lake nestled in a valley. It was still, as if dead for a very long time. Even the wildest storms couldn't cause a ripple to shake it to life. Then one day magic happened. A manifestation. There was a new form of being, floating on the water, yet there were no ripples in the lake. On a closer look you find a small ice cube bursting out of the water sheet.  This ice cube had a unique property, it can be aware. It can experience life around. Unlike water it can imagine, contemplate and think. Gleaming beautifully in the rising sun giving a hoot to the world it merrily swims in the lake with growing arrogance arising from its unique ability. Little did it know that unlike its source it is susceptible to forces of existence.

Many years pass by before the ice cube loses its sheen of arrogance. Its intelligence is no more good enough to handle extreme life situations. Threats from wind, debris, heat and dirt has mellowed it. The beautiful deep blues has faded, the sharpness of the edges are battered. It began to realize the possibility of some higher force working on its way of life. It had long back realized when it moves from one part of the lake to another that the propulsion was from somewhere else. It was just reacting to life forces. It had a feeling that there was no freewill. It wanted to know if its efforts make any sense at all. It wanted to know who is in charge. The quest to know the source begins in the right earnest.

Few more years pass by. Deep pondering gives the much needed direction. The heat and light from deep contemplation has shrunk the ego thus reducing its size. Deeper and deeper meditation melts the ice cube so much so that it eventually becomes water one day. It has unknowingly reached the very source water it sought. There is no more illusion no more separation no more duality.

I wait for the ice cube to surface again, to tell me about what is "Being". I want to hear the first hand experience of the Oneness. I wait for a very long time until something cracked inside me. There is no more ice cube to tell you the story. The unique ability of the ice cube to experience is watered down. 

After many days as I happened to pass by the lake I was animated seeing the ice cube again. But this time, there was something more serene about it. It had a radiating glow wrapped with an aura of humility and compassion. My questions reappeared. I asked the same question hoping that my findings are wrong. It said "when I was one with the source I didn't exist". But not to let go off the topic I ask "Was it silent? Was it peaceful?" It said "There is no such experience in the Oneness. There can't be any kind experience because as I said I didn't exist separate from the water during those moments. When I don't exist how can i experience?". Hearing such a profound statement I stand there motionless. Taking pity it said "When I am there, God is not. When God is there, I am not."

Being upset and unhappy hearing that in Oneness there is no experience of bliss, silence and peace. I ask "Why did you return". It said "I dont know how I came back. But coming back has made me realize who the boss is. I have no more wounds to be healed. I am purified and I radiate love. I no more fancy illusions because I live in the eternal now. Everything around me happens so effortlessly. I have deeper experience  of life. There is much more awareness. In the Oneness you can't do all that."

Searching for darkness with lights ON

Hey I am searching for darkness. I need your help to find it. I have switched ON the most illuminating lights that mankind has ever created. I have engaged professional lights-Guru to light up the whole place under search. Lights above, below, on the sides, at all angles and at varying luminosity  Yet I don't find it. I have been looking for this darkness for quiet some time and I am desperate. Can you please help?

But wait a minute why am I searching for darkness. I met this man, there was something extremely serene about him. He seemed to be a very wise man. I asked him that I am looking to find the Self. He started laughing. He said you are already that, you are the self. You must have lost some bearings. I grinned and said. Yes I know that, but I am talking about the Self, that all spiritual people search. The self that is beyond the facade of Maya.

Oh that one, he started to chuckle again. How can you find something that doesn't exist? What on earth? Now I began to wonder if this wise man had lost his sanity. The secret is there is no secret. It is Nothing! he said amused at my wide open mouth. It looks like a dialogue he had lifted from the Kung Fu Panda movie. If you know how the self would look it would be lot more easier to search for he said nonchalantly. Do you know what to look for? I scratched my head and said I think it is a very bright light, something that shines beautifully. He nodded and said the sun is the brightest light that humans have ever seen. Do you think that your self is brighter than that? Do you think that much brightness can be hidden ? I looked at him with a very blank mind. The sun has another 500 million years to go before it dies. Does that mean God would die then? Now I really need my shots of Tequila. Where is this all leading to? I wondered.

Don't you think that something that had a beginning will have an end. If big bang theory made the sun alive, wont the light die one day? When the candle had burnt would the light continue? Are you not searching for something that is transient? I said looks like. So what do I look for? He looked perplexed and said  Look for nothing. I asked How is that possible? I have to look for something. How else can i find the self? Please tell me what to look for. He said if you insist then I will tell you how nothing looks like. Wow thats some sense of relief. I can now find Nothing easily I thought to myself. Nothing is dark, empty and silent. These would remain for eternity because these are not manifested said the wise man. Before I could understand what he said he left in a hurry as if he saw no hope in my quest.

That day I decided to search for this darkness. I read all the spiritual books, all the holy books, the philosophies, listened and read all works of great masters. I chanted mantras and sang in choirs, participated in spiritual discussions and debates, I contemplated many years under the sun, top of alps, inside caves, under the Earth, below the sea, in the rains, every damn place on earth. Whatever metamorphic light my mind could lay hands I would do that including e-spirituality, technology has left no stone untouched. so I joined spiritual networks, read blogs and posted comments. AND I AM TIRED. My mind is really tired of this search.

Now you know why am I looking. Can anyone help me find darkness? I have all the illuminating knowledge. And my brightest light that is ever kept ON is my mind. A logical thinking mind. Damn! I am getting very upset and angry. I have reached the threshold.

I am frustruated and I care damn for the  Self anymore. I am switching OFF all the illuminating crazy knowledge about the Self. BAM, BAM.  What is that unusual silence I am beginning to hear? Hey dude It is dark and getting darker by the second. The fringes of the fading light points to the ever present darkness! This is what I have been looking for. Eureka!

Dude how could I search for darkness with lights ON?     LOL...... HAHAHAHA .... ROFL

(P.S. - Knowledge is so useful but it can turn out to be a stumbling block. Know when not to dwell in it. Truth is beyond the logic of Mind.)

Illusion - A reality? Or an Illusion?

Is this world really an illusion? What is this illusion that spirituality talk about? Could it really be true that something is skipping the senses?

The whole world that you see, hear, smell, taste and touch are real. They are solid physical objects. It is not animated 3-D airy dream. The illusion is the label that your mind attaches to the seen, heard, smelt, tasted and touched. Our mind has a phenomenal knack of projecting and imagining more than what is.

Aham Brahmasmi says the Upanishads. It means "I am Brahman" the God himself. All awakened masters say that you are God. If you and me are God why are we not able to know that? Before we delve into that we need to figure if everything is really God.

Saying everything is God is so easy scientifically but what the heck the believers anyway Believe everything is God, so why bother to prove. Science says everything in this world is matter and energy. They can be converted from one form to another. That's what is Einstein's E=MC Square, where E is energy, M is matter and C is speed of light. Every material in this universe has this matter in the form of atoms or sub-atomic. Whether you talk about stones, trees, humans or stars they all have it.

Science calls this as matter and energy that are interchangeable  Belief calls it as the created and the creator that are non interchangeable. Spirituality calls both as the manifested consciousness.  Spirituality goes one further step to say all manifested consciousness comes from Nothing. This would baffle science and they in recent years coined the assumed force as dark energy.

When God is everything how can you be separate? How can the devil (if it exists) be separate? If everything is him then good, bad, ugly, beautiful, light, darkness, love and hatred are all God. Isn't it?

So what is making you and me feel we are separate individuals? What is making you think that you and God are separate? Well the question has the answer. Your thought makes you think that you are separate.

The illusion is in the thinking. When you dream in your sleep. The illusion is so real that you don't have a doubt about it even though all your five senses are not functioning. You live the dream. When you wake up the conscious mind can live the real physical world with the five senses. The change in conscious state doesn't alter the core behavior of the sixth sense that is to project. It can still create a bubble around it and live in that dream. This labeling and attaching makes the whole thing real and fun.

When you are enlightened you would still be in the illusion but only this time you would be aware of the pranks of your mind. You can see beyond the veils of Maya lay a very blissful unshaken self. That is you! That is God!

God - A product that sells

Every religion claim that there is One God. That God is eternal living forever. Looks like God has abonded his creation. Where is he? Where does he live? Is he in the imaginary heaven all times? Does he visit hell and earth? Or has he delegated that work to the custodians of the religion and no more bothered? Did he create the devil? Or some other force created the devil that makes him envious?

The books say that he is the only one to be worshiped  Does that imply there are other Gods which makes him insecure. If God is all powerful as claimed why is he asking to fight the devil? Can't he destroy it himself? He wants his followers to destroy but where is the commander in charge. They say God is compassionate does that mean he is compassionate selectively where he helps those who keep praising him? He must have one big ego. 

It is not God who is at fault it is humans. Man managed to politicize divinity for personal reasons. Man created God, gave it a name. Books were written by humans. It will have the writers flavor for imagination. To ensure authority and stop logical questioning instill fear through various means. It played well to the ever God fearing humans. Wonder why would you fear your creator unless he is a monster. Wont you love your child unconditionally?

The protagonist of religion has belittled God in every possible manner. They say their God alone is true. Their religion alone is true. Sadly they fail to understand that by doing so they are demeaning the very God they adore. It is belittling God's creative ability. Would you appreciate God if he had created all animals as lions (no deer, no hippos etc) or all flowers as roses and nothing else  or all humans having the same facial appearance and same height and weight or all colors in white or all seasons in winter or all eatables as rice. Now that to any thinking standard it shows very poor creativity. Why is that God can't create different religions? Why can't God have different names? Why can't the rituals be different? Does it matter whether it is ancient or a new one? It is not God at fault it is the maturity of the followers that needs help.

(I am neither a believer nor an atheist. I don't believe in religions. My views of God is based on non-duality and is not expressed in this blog)

Question God's Existence

If you really want to know God question his existence. Doubt his existence. You have to have guts. You would be rewarded by the divine if you take this leap of faith. Blind faith keeps you blind forever.

God has been imposed on you. You learnt to pray from your parents, you followed rituals because a supposedly close to god priest said so, you believed because a million of them believed, the priests, the society gave a look and feel to God, the teachers, the self proclaimed God man had their own agenda, the books imprisoned you and made you a coward. The book became holier than God himself. You have been tuned to just accept and told not to question lest you would have the wrath of God. Which God is so ruthless? If God is all loving and compassionate why do you fear?

It is time to move from belief to knowing. Do you believe you have a hand? No you simply know you have a hand. Same way you would have to know if God exists. That can happens only if you are ready to question his existence, seek for the truth.

The only way to realize God is the courageous way. A path that is so unique to you. Only you can tread that path. The moment you take this step you would be amazed that divinity would take 100 steps to reach you. The teacher arrives when the disciple in you is ready.

Logic is Illogical

Illogic is the mother of logic. How many of us would accept the statement that logic is born from illogic?

We believe that everything in life adheres to logic. Nothing is accepted unless one believes it has a logical conclusion. Our logic might come across as the most illogical to someone else but to us it sounds well founded.

Science builds its theory on logic. Computer programs follows logic. Forensic investigations needs logic to reconstruct events. The system of communication follows logic. The whole world functions on logic. For us to come across as sane or mature we converse or argue or negotiate with logic. We expect logic even in our entertainment. But the whole universe sits on something that is so logically illogical.

Can the reflection be brighter than the source? asks Zen. The source of light is so unfounded but its principles follow logic. There is no logic as to why light travels but there is perfect logic in photons, reflections and refraction.  The source of matter and energy is illogical but it follows principles of science. It is logic which tells us why there is a sunrise and sunset but it is illogic which tells why the earth spins on its axis. It is bang theory that tells us how the universe came but it is illogic that would answer where did the emptiness that acted as the womb for the big bang (if at all as claimed) to occur come from. It is perfect logic that beyond every periphery there must be something. Applying the logic an infinite time one realizes the universe is endless. Logic knows it is limited and knows logically well that there can be no answer to it. Science knows logically well that answer to some of the question is 'That is the nature of existence. Any infinite probe would end in the same answer'. It is like you watching a movie from the middle that is logically constructed frame to frame but has no  idea as to what led to it.

It is like a movie where the first half is on Tom and Jerry and then all of a sudden it is Titanic for the second half. Now the two can independently appear extremely logical in spite of the absence of a beginning or an end. But for a person who has watched the entire movie will find no logical connection between the stories. He won't know how the Tom and Jerry movie would end nor why did Titanic sink.

There was this centipede that was in the habit of going for a walk every morning. It is on one such routine walk that a frog stopped the centipede to clarify on a pressing confusion. "Uncle centipede I have seen you walk on many mornings. I am extremely perplexed to see you walk with such ease with all those 100 legs of yours. I am amazed how you mange to do this? How do you know which leg to move first, then the second, then the third and so on? Don't you get confused as to which leg to move next? I couldn't hold it anymore and I wanted to know today. Please tell me" The astonished centipede looked puzzled. "I have been walking all my life, it never occurred to me how I managed all these years. I never looked down to count my legs. Now that you told me I will find out what logic do I apply to actually move the legs" The centipede tries to figure the mystery. It immediately falls on its face with all its legs entangled. The centipede angrily shouts at the frog. "You idiot all my life I was walking so fine, now you have brought this question in my mind I am afraid to walk again. Out of the billion other centipede I will be the only centipede who can't manage my hundred legs. you have brought shame to me."

Logic tells us that we laughed because we found something funny but what is the logical basis on which our mind labels something as 'funny' a fraction of a second before it is called as funny.

Logic belongs to the mind. Logic is so limited in its knowledge. Logic deals with the known. You have to go beyond the mind to see the illogical abundance, the divinity knows no logic. Unknown has no logic. Creation follows no logic.

How can a mind which is just a part logically comprehend the whole? How can logic ever comprehend the illogical? The truth lies beyond the mind.

- Some of these are excerpts from the fiction book that I am writing 'Rising above the spheres of Fear'

For discussions or to read the fiction part please join www.facebook.com/book.fear

Purpose of Life

A man without a purpose is a ship without a rudder goes the adage. There are many purposes one holds to in their lives. This list keep changing time to time. Some purposes in life gets dropped, some compromised and some get fulfilled  but there is always one purpose or a wish that one always have. There is no dearth for desires. When one is badly battered in life all purposes momentarily cease shifting the energy to a pressing problem that needs immediate relief. Once out of it we immediately pick the burden of purpose.

The purpose of any purpose is to seek contentment or well being in life. Whatever be the purpose the search is for happiness and security. Whether the want is about minting millions of dollars or wielding enormous power or indulging in sexual fantasies or putting a roof under the head or winning a scholarship or marrying the most perfect other half or travelling the exotic paradises or securing the future of your loved ones or saving the world from the bad guys or finding a cure for a dreaded disease or removing poverty from the face of Earth it all boils down to fulfilling the needs of one or more of the six senses. Man is a sensual being since the eons and will continue to be forever.

Although many goals are achieved man is never content inside. There is always a hope of better tomorrow. The core of the purpose remains constant but the superficial appearance changes from money to power to sex to recognition to security to enlightenment to lifestyle. The search for contentment seem to be an infinite one. The purpose suddenly is no more fun but a very tiresome burden. The eluding contentment makes life a curse. In the name of purpose life becomes rudderless, from waking hours to sleeping hours it is the usual boring mundane tasks. There is no more joy no more living but only longing for the unknown paradise. 

Alas! If only the dreamer knows that the sought lies within, he would stop the external search. Contentment had always been yours. There would be no more purpose in life but whatever you do there would be life in it. There would be usefulness in it. Life would take you places. There would be a rudder in your life that sets the direction but you won't be controlling it you simply sit back and enjoy the adventures of the journey. The journey is the destination.

Nature of Mind

The nature of mind is very logical. The function of the mind is to question, analyse, dissect and infer a result that is logically sound. Does that mean the mind remains quiet on arrival of a result? Does the mind stop with the knowing? No the mind takes nothing on its face value. It has to evaluate the information and only if it is convinced it accepts it otherwise it is armed with reasons for rejections.

An excerpt from the to be released novel 'Rising above the spheres of fear' states "How can the mind accept knowledge and be quiet? Knowledge means what the mind has discovered so far. The mind is a doubting mind. It is a probing mind trying to come up with theories to disprove knowledge so as to discover more. That is the reason scientific theories get constantly updated or replaced. Thoughts that were constructed based on some factors can fall flat when a new factor is introduced. Mind is a bag of thoughts. Whatever the mind depicts the truth to be, it has to be flawed." 

This has happened in our lives. What was right today turns out to be wrong tomorrow. Take the instance of cannibalism. Man thought it was okay to eat another man, but today because of the collective conscience the society perceives it as not correct. With newer experiences and better understanding there is a update to what we know. There is no end where one can say I know it 100% now. The knowledge that we hold on proudly has an expiry date. Wonder where the arrogance of knowing comes from.

The mind is at the mercy of thoughts. There is no right or wrong thought but you enact whatever you think is right at that moment. Mind has the capability of coming up with different reactions at different times for the same situation. It is like closing your eyes and picking a random chit in a lucky draw. You may train your mind to behave in a particular manner under particular situations. You may even succeed few times but then you will be disappointed with yourself for being caught off-guard at times. Controlling the mind is the most unnatural way. It is easier to control a gusty wind. It will wear you off. It is prudence to understand and accept the nature of your mind. This brings in lot of harmony in your being. This allows you to be in tune with existence.

The nature of mind is unpredictable. Random thought determines the current state of the mind. The mind itself has no clue as to how it would behave in ground zero. If such is the nature of the mind how can any thought lead to enlightenment? how can it illumine the self? Will it not be a fallacy projected out of the limited knowledge? Wont it be like the blind men and the elephant story?

Does that mean the mind is of no use to realize the truth? Yes and No. It is extremely useful to contemplate, understand and see the veil. It is like using the boat to cross the river. Once you cross the river you don't carry the boat on your shoulders. In the same way there comes a stage where the mind would be the stumbling block to realization of the self. The TRUTH is not a minuscule thought that is prone to change from time to time. You have to go beyond the mind to realize the truth!

(Some are excerpts from the Book - Rising above the Spheres of Fear www.facebook.com/book.fear)