The Need for Attention

Every time we get a like on the profile pic or any post that we have uploaded on social media it makes us feel good. It is an indication that some action of ours has caught the attention of someone. The more the like count the greater is the joy. It gives us a sense of feeling that something we do is liked by others and so must be correct.

On the surface it looks perfectly fine but deep down the message is loud and clear that we need the world to constantly assure us and validate us. It is a sign that one is not sure about oneself. It is a shout from within on the lacking sense of self worth. It is a sign that one is not solid within.

The more we turn a blind eye the more we get hooked on to the false sense of completeness. We start doing many things to get the world to notice us. We want to know what our friends, neighbors and the world think about us. We become prisoners of thought. What we assume that others would think would determine our actions and not what is the most appropriate behavior.

Our self esteem then is like a weather bell, tossing the moods between excitement and depression. In such oscillation there is no way of finding your serene Self.

www.facebook.com/book.fear

The ugly side of Humility

Many like the idea of being humble. They take pride in their humility. They feel so good when someone compliments them as a humble person. They want more of it. These are the people who claim they have no ego. That's probably the biggest ego drive they have. To whom does that pride belong? To whom does that humility belong? Who in that person claims absence of ego? 

They know arrogance is no good. They don't want to be empty vessels that make more noise. So they reach to the other extreme of the scale, which is being humble. Although they are easy to move with and friendly these are the people who are fragile. They are the ones that get hurt easily. Anyone can ruffle their feelings. They treat others well and in turn expect the world to reciprocate. When that doesn't happen they are pained. They carry an expectation that humanity should appreciate their humility. It is a performance that needs recognition. In arrogance the ego is troubled and shaken. In humility the ego is caressed for later trouble.

Society and religion preaches you humility. It can be misleading. Instead of showing the balance, where an act is carried out independent of the prejudice, of arrogance and humility, it preaches one extreme over the other. It is because of this lop sided emphasis why we would find appeasement of wrong in the name of being good.

Humble people have dreams like any other. They don't flaunt their talents but secretly wish it is acknowledged. They want the limelight but expect to be prodded to take the stage. On the face it looks they are content with what they have but they are not. They don't realize that the very reason they try to be humble is to enhance their low self esteem. This humble behavior of theirs in the long run make them timid and shy. There is another set of people - celebrities, who are not shy of the limelight but would want to come across as humble. They like the tabloids to write about their humility in spite of their resounding success - another ego ride.

Both arrogance and humility are acts that stem from low self esteem. Humility can't be a cover up for arrogance. It is important that the reasons for ones low self esteem is addressed. Listen to your inner voice, your best friend, to know what action of yours would be a balanced act. A balanced act - free of arrogance and humility - could be a loud stern shout or a slap or a big grin or a simple glance or nothing. It is not the expression on the surface that matters but how complete one is within, from where that action sprung.