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Friday 28 November 2014

Why does one fail?

There could be any number of secondary factors but the primary factor that determines your success and failure is you.What your subconscious mind really wants decides the outcome and it overrides every hard slog and smart moves of yours.

One could consciously wish, pray and work for success but if you subconsciously carry a lingering doubt it would eventually play havoc. You could fall sick, run into unexpected situations, commit the unthinkable mistake or just about anything to make sure it is not favorable to you. The rules of destiny are simple. You always get what you want. Fortunately or unfortunately what you want subconsciously, that you had built over many many years from past actions and results, far outweighs what you want consciously ending in results that you may or not cherish.

The subconscious scar could be because of fear of failure, fear of success or strong desire for self deprecation and self pity or simple wishful thinking. Whatever the reason be it is enough to act as brakes to stop a success run. Though positive thinking may appear to alleviate self doubt in the short run, it only ends up colorfully clothing it. Self talks and loud expressions is not going to fool oneself for long. It would slowly begin to wither and drain you.

The simple solution is to take your legs of the brake instead of hard pressing the accelerator in the name of positive thinking. When you realize that you have created the brakes it would be lot easier to drop them. The momentum you would gain then would exceed your expectations and surpass many milestones.

Friday 21 November 2014

Learning from Jealousy

Jealousy can be a sickening feeling. It is okay if it was just the reasons for jealousy without the disheartening feeling but it is like a double whammy where your friend has the cake and eats it too. All you can do is to gulp air down your throat seeing them eat it. Why does some of the successes and happiness of your friends cause jealousy while there are scores of successful celebrities faring much better than them don't? While successful celebrities can inspire why does the happiness of your friend cause heartburn? Jealousy is a peer group emotion. It is this group you use to evaluate yourself. You draw your strength, identity and most important your self-worth from this social setup. No one likes to look bad in their own eyes. 

Some feel jealous and crib. Some fight jealousy as a vice. Some suppress and party along. Just as much as one hides this jealousy the successful friend wants to flaunt it to be doubly assured that he indeed has done a worthy job. Many are disheartened if their social media posts don't get loads of likes. They want reassurance that they fit well. Both actions stem from the need to better their shaky self esteems. 

It is okay to be jealous. It is a natural human emotion that need not be seen as a negative energy to be slain. Shadow boxing would only tire you. It is important to understand what your heart is attempting to tell you. Listen to it as to why there is turbulence in the mind and what causes the low self esteem. Instead of feeling bad and fighting it you could use that to better understand yourself and work on your shortcomings. Befriending oneself is very essential. It holds the key to understand your real needs.

A content person who feels complete with oneself can never be jealous of another person. It is these doors of completeness that your heart wants to enter. Be complete and free yourself from clutches of jealousy.

Friday 14 November 2014

Freewill is Destiny

Destiny is perceived as predetermined sequence of events where humans have no control, whereas freewill is perceived as giving that control to human to choose between options. In destiny he sees himself as a mere boat with no paddles, whereas in freewill he has the paddle to row anywhere he wishes. It is human nature that desires to be in control. The need for control arises due to the insecurity of the unknown and uncertainty. When everything is in control it gives a sense of security that life goes according to one's dream and the desired destination would be reached. It is this false hope that makes human less adventurous and more fearful. It makes him limited and makes him settle for less.

The key to understand whether it is destiny or freewill lies in how we think because our actions stem from thoughts. You don't foresee or plan a particular thought to occur. Thought happens by itself and you get to be aware of such a thought in your mind. Thousands of thoughts happen in your mind and it didn't wait for your permission before cropping up. This is randomness of thoughts occurring, it is not predestined but as it unfolds. Man hates to be puppet, but he has to realize no one is sitting above and controlling his life. There is no sadist out there but life blooms as it happens in the now. Just like a wind changes direction moment to moment so does your mind rattle with thoughts and the following actions. 

In fact it is because of this randomness of destiny it appears 'as if'' there is freewill. It is the randomness of the thoughts, the decisions and the following actions that makes life uncertain, colorful and vibrant. If it had been freewill all human actions are predictable as he would only choose and do what he already knows and likes, which is going to be limited and stagnant. Just like a computer program that performs an action for a given set of conditions so would the human behavior be. He would be a glorified robot picking up actions that is already predetermined and programmed. It is destiny that alters this predestined behavior and gives an illusion of freewill.

It is destiny that you are reading this although you can claim that you made a choice to read it. It is destiny that makes you say aye or nay for destiny. Freewill is part and parcel of destiny.