Selfishness

Why is one selfish? Selfishness arises from the feeling of incompleteness or insecurity. We are not content with what we have and thereby want more of it believing it would make us feel better. A bar of chocolate when broken into two would usually undergo the scrutiny as to the size and length. Among mature friends it would go with a smirk and among juveniles it could be a fight.

Whatever a human does he does it for his need. Without anything for him in it he wouldn't lift a finger to make that great sacrifice. The reward could be money, pleasure, recognition, self esteem - anything that boosts his ego. A casual meeting of friends is to have fun. A couple deciding to have a kid is for their need maybe to have a lineage in place. Some do charity to derive happiness out of giving. They can't give away things that are of utmost important to them but only part those they can be without. Most parents sacrifice to see their kids do well because their happiness is dependent on how well the kids fare in life. At the surface it would look selfless but if the acts of sacrifice or charity give them displeasure they wouldn't continue. This is how existence is. There is nothing wrong about it.

The same person could be selfish in some acts and may appear not so in some other acts. In some aspects of life they feel incomplete while content with some other aspects. They could be content having fed well that they may not fight for a meal but could show their inadequate self in a traffic jam by tailing another vehicle blocking the pedestrian space to cross. It is so hard wired that they do it so subtly so well without awareness.

When the self looks at itself it mostly sees its inadequacy. It sees what is not. It is this inadequate feeling that leads to sadness and acts of selfishness. From the way one fills his meal plate to the speed and way one eats that food. From the way people talk to the way people dress up would exhibit their inadequacy. It is just the level and degree of inadequacy that varies. Some are called as selfish while the subtler ones could end up as philanthropists. 

Selfishness would disappear when the self sees its abundant nature. When it realizes it is already complete and that ignorance of its abundance brought about the absurd behavior. When selfishness drops you would be a compassionate being.

Live Happy

You can be happy. The good news is it is easy and the bad news is one looks at the wrong place. There was once a man with his head bent crawling around the pole of a well lit streetlamp. A passerby wanting to help asks the man what you are looking for. The man said he was searching for his car keys that he had lost two streets away. The perplexed Samaritan asked why you are searching here if you lost the key somewhere else. That's because there are no lights there replied the man. This is what most of us do in search of happiness. To fill the void one seeks happiness in chasing wrong pursuits. They believe that more of something that they already have would make them happy for sure. If what they already have doesn't give them any satisfaction no more of the same is going to give them happiness. For example if a man has few thousand dollars in possession and he believes he can be happy with little more, when he gets that little more his wants grow so does the need for money but the constant worry for money remains. There are cases of the rich and the famous committing suicide anyways.

The legend tells when God created man he contemplated as to where to place his happiness. To make life interesting he wanted the key to abundance to be hid from man. He discounted hiding it in the distant galaxy or in the deep seas for he knew man would one day travel beyond the skies and explore the deepest of the oceans. He speculated stashing it in the material world around him but that didn't ring bell either. Burying it up in the heart of another person is futile as man is a social being and he would seek the company of others. So God finally thought that the best place to hide it is within the man himself. He was pretty sure that he would go about looking everywhere outside him but never find it until the day he starts to look within.

So how does one look within? What is to search within? It is not a tangible blob that is hidden inside that can be perceived by the five senses. It is beyond the senses but a genuine seeker would find it through meditation and contemplation. For a start one can calmly watch the subtle cycles of thoughts and emotions. It is thinking without awareness that causes the emotional roller-coasters. If one can realize that the one who is aware of the thought is different from the thought itself then glimpses of permanent bliss begin to permeate. Find yourself. Be Happy.