Self Pity

As a child we all have cried for many reasons. We have cried in pain, hunger, fear and just about for many reasons. As kids we have learnt that crying gets attention, love and sympathy. These emotions comfort us and relieve nerves of insecurity.

As adults not much of our core changes. This active need for attention and validation continues. Not every time the world is going to stand next to you with a handkerchief in hand. One easy way to get attention and sympathy is from one's own.

Self pity paints us a saint in our eyes and wonder why the world is so devilish to us. We wonder why the world refuses to understand or reciprocate your goodness. The pain is ironically alluring.

For some the addiction of self pity is so strong that they refuse to let go. They attract more downfalls and sadness to crib about. If desire to be happy is no wishful thinking stop self pity.

For more do like www.facebook.com/book.fear

Compassion

Hate hates to forgive. Love loves to forgive. Compassion wasn't hurt to forgive.

Hate attempts to expand its boundaries through violence. Love attempts to expand its boundaries through appeasement. Compassion doesn't expand as it has no boundaries.

Hate attempts to remove insecurity by destruction. Love attempts to remove insecurity by inclusion. Compassion is beyond insecure delusions.

Hate has mission. Love has purpose. Compassion has no agenda.

Hate sees the other as enemy. Love sees the other as friend. Compassion sees the other as self.

Hate needs love to thrive. Love needs hate to serve. Compassion needs neither.

Hate connives. Love fantasizes. Compassion witnesses.

Hate hurts. Love soothes. Compassion heals.

Hate believes in doomsday. Love believes in judgement day. Compassion is about today.

Hate experiences sadness. Love experiences joy. Compassion experiences Bliss.

Hate resides in your mind. Love resides in your heart. Compassion resides in you.

Hate is out of arrogance. Love is out of ignorance. Compassion is out of awareness.

Dealing with Negative thoughts

Negative thoughts can be damning. One negative thought leads to another and by the time you realize a castle of doom is built. The dreamer fuses life into it and carries this monster 24x7. Peace of mind is forsaken but plans of how to beat the imagined demon occupies the mind. Thoughts of shame, of danger lurking, of failures and many similar thoughts make life hell. 

The world out there seem to be so happy except you. It looks like it is mocking at your miseries. It appears that you have been hand picked for persecution. You have a tiny tinge of hope somewhere deep inside secretly wishing that your worries evaporate. Self pity and self deprecation becomes your favorite hobby.

Thoughts per se are neither negative nor positive. It is simply a manifestation that has occurred in your mind. Thoughts that are not to your liking are labeled as negative and those that make you feel good are seen as positive thoughts. What is positive thought to you could be a negative thought to someone else. You are a body of desires. Each desire seeks its fulfillment. You comprehend these emotions through thoughts. One part of you wants fulfillment of those desires and another part of it - your values, your constraints etc - stops it from happening. You are not sure what needs to be done to feel content. It seem to be never ending tussle.

Dropping desire is not possible because you didn't create the desire. It just happened to you. Suppressing desire is not going to be effective in the long run. It makes you desperate and vulnerable to irreversible mistakes. Working to fulfill won't end it either. You would want more of it - like more money, more recognition. So how do one be immune to negative thoughts?

A temporary solution is to wait for the change in tide that brings momentary uplifting thoughts. You can also attempt to force exciting thoughts that seem to bring results in the short term but know it would wear you out mentally in the long run. That's how positive thinking works. It is like an emergency medication not for daily usage. 

Filling your mind with happy events of the past and promising future would temporarily disengage from the rut. You might probably be doing the opposite of what you are doing now. You might have to step out to the world, do small things that uplifts, meet happier and sensible people. These can pave the way for permanent solution but be aware they are more like breathers. The problem is in the root. 

A permanent solution would be to understand yourself. Learn to look within to know why you desire certain things, why certain thoughts come to haunt you. The coming to know the reason behind them would point the right direction for the right set of actions. Work on the source than react to the situation on the surface. It takes commitment. If you are serious you would work for a permanent solution otherwise your want to be happy is only a wishful thinking.

Learning from Jealousy

Jealousy can be a sickening feeling. It is okay if it was just the reasons for jealousy without the disheartening feeling but it is like a double whammy where your friend has the cake and eats it too. All you can do is to gulp air down your throat seeing them eat it. Why does some of the successes and happiness of your friends cause jealousy while there are scores of successful celebrities faring much better than them don't? While successful celebrities can inspire why does the happiness of your friend cause heartburn? Jealousy is a peer group emotion. It is this group you use to evaluate yourself. You draw your strength, identity and most important your self-worth from this social setup. No one likes to look bad in their own eyes. 

Some feel jealous and crib. Some fight jealousy as a vice. Some suppress and party along. Just as much as one hides this jealousy the successful friend wants to flaunt it to be doubly assured that he indeed has done a worthy job. Many are disheartened if their social media posts don't get loads of likes. They want reassurance that they fit well. Both actions stem from the need to better their shaky self esteems. 

It is okay to be jealous. It is a natural human emotion that need not be seen as a negative energy to be slain. Shadow boxing would only tire you. It is important to understand what your heart is attempting to tell you. Listen to it as to why there is turbulence in the mind and what causes the low self esteem. Instead of feeling bad and fighting it you could use that to better understand yourself and work on your shortcomings. Befriending oneself is very essential. It holds the key to understand your real needs.

A content person who feels complete with oneself can never be jealous of another person. It is these doors of completeness that your heart wants to enter. Be complete and free yourself from clutches of jealousy.