Self Pity

As a child we all have cried for many reasons. We have cried in pain, hunger, fear and just about for many reasons. As kids we have learnt that crying gets attention, love and sympathy. These emotions comfort us and relieve nerves of insecurity.

As adults not much of our core changes. This active need for attention and validation continues. Not every time the world is going to stand next to you with a handkerchief in hand. One easy way to get attention and sympathy is from one's own.

Self pity paints us a saint in our eyes and wonder why the world is so devilish to us. We wonder why the world refuses to understand or reciprocate your goodness. The pain is ironically alluring.

For some the addiction of self pity is so strong that they refuse to let go. They attract more downfalls and sadness to crib about. If desire to be happy is no wishful thinking stop self pity.

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Being Good to others and Oneself

There are many good people who love to do good to others. They like to come across as friendly and fair. Their desire to be seen good could be immense that they don't mind sacrificing their happiness and well being. From an observer's point of view she is good to the other and bad to oneself.

Why would one do an act that is good to someone but end up bad to oneself? Shouldn't the need to be good to other applied to the self as well? Why is assertiveness so tough? Why is the balance missing?

The need to be good is different from being good. In being good there is balance. There would be natural assertiveness not planned assertiveness. There could be sacrifice but not to please or for appreciation.

In the need to be good one might bend more than required to please the other and in the process hurt themselves. They are hurt that their goodness is not recognized. They are infuriated when their goodness is taken for a ride.

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