Being Good to others and Oneself

There are many good people who love to do good to others. They like to come across as friendly and fair. Their desire to be seen good could be immense that they don't mind sacrificing their happiness and well being. From an observer's point of view she is good to the other and bad to oneself.

Why would one do an act that is good to someone but end up bad to oneself? Shouldn't the need to be good to other applied to the self as well? Why is assertiveness so tough? Why is the balance missing?

The need to be good is different from being good. In being good there is balance. There would be natural assertiveness not planned assertiveness. There could be sacrifice but not to please or for appreciation.

In the need to be good one might bend more than required to please the other and in the process hurt themselves. They are hurt that their goodness is not recognized. They are infuriated when their goodness is taken for a ride.

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Learning from Jealousy

Jealousy can be a sickening feeling. It is okay if it was just the reasons for jealousy without the disheartening feeling but it is like a double whammy where your friend has the cake and eats it too. All you can do is to gulp air down your throat seeing them eat it. Why does some of the successes and happiness of your friends cause jealousy while there are scores of successful celebrities faring much better than them don't? While successful celebrities can inspire why does the happiness of your friend cause heartburn? Jealousy is a peer group emotion. It is this group you use to evaluate yourself. You draw your strength, identity and most important your self-worth from this social setup. No one likes to look bad in their own eyes. 

Some feel jealous and crib. Some fight jealousy as a vice. Some suppress and party along. Just as much as one hides this jealousy the successful friend wants to flaunt it to be doubly assured that he indeed has done a worthy job. Many are disheartened if their social media posts don't get loads of likes. They want reassurance that they fit well. Both actions stem from the need to better their shaky self esteems. 

It is okay to be jealous. It is a natural human emotion that need not be seen as a negative energy to be slain. Shadow boxing would only tire you. It is important to understand what your heart is attempting to tell you. Listen to it as to why there is turbulence in the mind and what causes the low self esteem. Instead of feeling bad and fighting it you could use that to better understand yourself and work on your shortcomings. Befriending oneself is very essential. It holds the key to understand your real needs.

A content person who feels complete with oneself can never be jealous of another person. It is these doors of completeness that your heart wants to enter. Be complete and free yourself from clutches of jealousy.