Accepting Oneself

We like to be seen important, witty, intelligent, smart etc,. If we are not naturally good at it we do things artificially to communicate such an impression. We do this as a way of protecting our self image or to create a sense of belonging. We build images of ourselves that makes us feel good. This is the facade that we want the world to see and associate us with. This is a projection which is not our true self. The more we wrap a cocoon out of fear and insecurity the more we fail to be oneself.

Be yourself. Stop the performance so you get accepted. There will always be people who would admire you for who you are. Let your interaction with this world be natural.

If you don't accept yourself as you are who else would. Drop the mask and be free.

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The Need for Attention

Every time we get a like on the profile pic or any post that we have uploaded on social media it makes us feel good. It is an indication that some action of ours has caught the attention of someone. The more the like count the greater is the joy. It gives us a sense of feeling that something we do is liked by others and so must be correct.

On the surface it looks perfectly fine but deep down the message is loud and clear that we need the world to constantly assure us and validate us. It is a sign that one is not sure about oneself. It is a shout from within on the lacking sense of self worth. It is a sign that one is not solid within.

The more we turn a blind eye the more we get hooked on to the false sense of completeness. We start doing many things to get the world to notice us. We want to know what our friends, neighbors and the world think about us. We become prisoners of thought. What we assume that others would think would determine our actions and not what is the most appropriate behavior.

Our self esteem then is like a weather bell, tossing the moods between excitement and depression. In such oscillation there is no way of finding your serene Self.

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React Vs Response

Most of us would say things in the spurt of the moment and regret later. In the heat of passion we do things that make us feel guilty or ashamed. We could have been fooled that left us seething in anger. We failed to say or do the right thing at the right time in the right measure.

It is because your mind is so busy being volatile. It reacts to the unexpected turn of event and fails to respond appropriately to the situation.

When you are not aware of the moment you react. When you are fully aware of the moment you respond.

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Ego is not a villain

Ego is vilified as an impediment in the spiritual path. We like to destroy this evil force. We like to do the opposite of whatever we consider as an egoistic act. We try to be humble. We try to love.

The desire to destroy the ego belongs to the ego. It is ego's plan to destroy itself to obtain something else, say the blessings of God or peace of mind or for some other it could be enlightenment.

There are two flaws in this approach. One the physical body can be killed by a physical act but for the ego to kill itself it has no idea how to do it. It can't say or think from now on I am dead and remain dead. Two if it does the impossible who would be the beneficiary of the fantasized goodies once it is dead?

You are the ego. Ego is not a villain. It is the ignorance that one has to remove to be aware each moment. When the ego is aware of its actions tranquility sets in.

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Self Pity

As a child we all have cried for many reasons. We have cried in pain, hunger, fear and just about for many reasons. As kids we have learnt that crying gets attention, love and sympathy. These emotions comfort us and relieve nerves of insecurity.

As adults not much of our core changes. This active need for attention and validation continues. Not every time the world is going to stand next to you with a handkerchief in hand. One easy way to get attention and sympathy is from one's own.

Self pity paints us a saint in our eyes and wonder why the world is so devilish to us. We wonder why the world refuses to understand or reciprocate your goodness. The pain is ironically alluring.

For some the addiction of self pity is so strong that they refuse to let go. They attract more downfalls and sadness to crib about. If desire to be happy is no wishful thinking stop self pity.

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Being Good to others and Oneself

There are many good people who love to do good to others. They like to come across as friendly and fair. Their desire to be seen good could be immense that they don't mind sacrificing their happiness and well being. From an observer's point of view she is good to the other and bad to oneself.

Why would one do an act that is good to someone but end up bad to oneself? Shouldn't the need to be good to other applied to the self as well? Why is assertiveness so tough? Why is the balance missing?

The need to be good is different from being good. In being good there is balance. There would be natural assertiveness not planned assertiveness. There could be sacrifice but not to please or for appreciation.

In the need to be good one might bend more than required to please the other and in the process hurt themselves. They are hurt that their goodness is not recognized. They are infuriated when their goodness is taken for a ride.

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Belief to Knowing to Realization

If you are a believer in divinity let that belief turn to knowing and then to realization. You don't believe you have a hand? you know you have it. right? Belief is needed only when there is a doubt. Without direct realizing the divinity it remains elusive and unknown - a blind baseless belief that was passed down by the society we live in.

To know God the first step is stop fearing him. Don't look at divinity as consumed with trigger happy tempers. It is not another human entity who would react like humans and judge our ignorant behaviors.

If we know it all we wouldn't be ignorant. Divinity can't judge any such act done out of ignorance and helplessness. When you fear

God you are belittling his compassionate nature. You demonize him.

If you want to connect to God you have to question his existence. Suppressing this question out of fear is not expressing immense faith in God but you are masking your simmering doubts with a face of a devout. That's a lie which the compassionate divinity wants you to get out. It wants you to be true to yourself first so your reverence to it is genuine too.

When you start questioning you question all your beliefs, your ideas, your texts, your opinions - just about everything that has blocked you from knowing the truth. You genuinely seek not blindly accept what has been told or written. It might shatter all the existing beliefs in the process but it doesn't stop the quest to taste divinity.

The connect between you and divinity already exists. Let not another human or book or ritual stop you from realizing the divinity. When you realize the divinity, your life is one of awareness, bliss and compassion. You are complete for the first time.