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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Quest for the Source

Long eons earlier far away from the habitation of living being, was a very serene lake nestled in a valley. It was still, as if dead for a very long time. Even the wildest storms couldn't cause a ripple to shake it to life. Then one day magic happened. A manifestation. There was a new form of being, floating on the water, yet there were no ripples in the lake. On a closer look you find a small ice cube bursting out of the water sheet.  This ice cube had a unique property, it can be aware. It can experience life around. Unlike water it can imagine, contemplate and think. Gleaming beautifully in the rising sun giving a hoot to the world it merrily swims in the lake with growing arrogance arising from its unique ability. Little did it know that unlike its source it is susceptible to forces of existence.

Many years pass by before the ice cube loses its sheen of arrogance. Its intelligence is no more good enough to handle extreme life situations. Threats from wind, debris, heat and dirt has mellowed it. The beautiful deep blues has faded, the sharpness of the edges are battered. It began to realize the possibility of some higher force working on its way of life. It had long back realized when it moves from one part of the lake to another that the propulsion was from somewhere else. It was just reacting to life forces. It had a feeling that there was no freewill. It wanted to know if its efforts make any sense at all. It wanted to know who is in charge. The quest to know the source begins in the right earnest.

Few more years pass by. Deep pondering gives the much needed direction. The heat and light from deep contemplation has shrunk the ego thus reducing its size. Deeper and deeper meditation melts the ice cube so much so that it eventually becomes water one day. It has unknowingly reached the very source water it sought. There is no more illusion no more separation no more duality.

I wait for the ice cube to surface again, to tell me about what is "Being". I want to hear the first hand experience of the Oneness. I wait for a very long time until something cracked inside me. There is no more ice cube to tell you the story. The unique ability of the ice cube to experience is watered down. 

After many days as I happened to pass by the lake I was animated seeing the ice cube again. But this time, there was something more serene about it. It had a radiating glow wrapped with an aura of humility and compassion. My questions reappeared. I asked the same question hoping that my findings are wrong. It said "when I was one with the source I didn't exist". But not to let go off the topic I ask "Was it silent? Was it peaceful?" It said "There is no such experience in the Oneness. There can't be any kind experience because as I said I didn't exist separate from the water during those moments. When I don't exist how can i experience?". Hearing such a profound statement I stand there motionless. Taking pity it said "When I am there, God is not. When God is there, I am not."

Being upset and unhappy hearing that in Oneness there is no experience of bliss, silence and peace. I ask "Why did you return". It said "I dont know how I came back. But coming back has made me realize who the boss is. I have no more wounds to be healed. I am purified and I radiate love. I no more fancy illusions because I live in the eternal now. Everything around me happens so effortlessly. I have deeper experience  of life. There is much more awareness. In the Oneness you can't do all that."